intensely trivial

Needing rescue — again

I am by nature a frightfully introspective person, and it often gets me into trouble. I get all tangled up in myself, and it inevitably leads to self-loathing. Which is where I was most of the day today. I’m sure those of you who have conversed with me over the last 24 hours have not come away from those interactions feeling encouraged or pointed toward grace and truth, and I’m sorry about that.

Dan kindly listened to my black, depressing, twisted thoughts tonight after supper. That is one of the things I most love about him: that he just stands there in the midst of my fretting, waiting and listening, and sure that I’ll come out of it — even though in those moments I’m sure things will never improve. (Never mind that, historically speaking, I always climb back out of these pits within hours or days. Or maybe I should say I am pulled out.)

And then he purposely made sure I didn’t have to take care of the kids too much, and I settled into my big refuge chair and started reading a book (that I’d never heard of before the book sale on Saturday): Leave Yourself Alone, by Eugenia Price (yes, the romance novelist).

I just want to share a little excerpt from the pages I read. Ms. Price is describing her own life, but I identified strongly. Maybe her straightforward words will encourage you, too.

Although I exhausted myself, He will bring me back to my normal energy. I can count on that because I am off my hands and into His, and He can cope — even with me.


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  1. * Jessica S. says:

    Rachel, your words encouraged me. Thanks for your honesty. I think I relate to your words even more than Eugenia’s.

    Posted 9 years, 3 months ago

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